Mr. Clean
Listen up, yo! Boom!
Did I scare you? Sorry, bro. I often scare people because my arm muscles are so money. Watch out! I'm Mr. Clean.
I am so clean, I'm tough! Can you see my bulging arm muscles? Fool...that means I'm tough and clean. The top of my head is big and clean, too, like a big, shiny-clean countertop. Even my 14-carat gold hoop earring is cleaner than you'll ever be. In summary, you better not mess with me, for my whole upper body is tough and clean. Like ice. And by the way, the reason you never see my lower body is because it's even cleaner than the top! Boom!
Have you ever seen anyone so clean in your whole life? Probably not. If you did see someone cleaner than me, I'd like to see it. I'd like to talk to this "Mr. Clean-er." You know what he would say? Nothing. And the reason why he would say nothing is because he doesn't exist. Boom! Think about it this way -- if there were such a person, why wouldn't they have him on all the bottles? But they don't have anyone else, do they. That's right. So do it.
Out,
-Mr. Clean
1 Comments:
Dear Mr. Clean,
Please do not hurt me. I have a question: do you ever get dirty? I mean, like through your daily duties as Mr. Clean, do you run across some nasty stains that come off on you? And if so, do you cease to be Mr. Clean? Do you become Mr. Dirty, or Mr. Not-So-Clean? Do your superpowers wear off until you can become clean again? And what do you use to clean yourself? Does Mr. Clean come clean with Mr. Clean?
You should come over to my house. We have a cat and she makes it stink a little. I bet you could handle that. Just don't let any get on you because then you'd be vulnerable until you could clean yourself, and no one wants that to happen.
Thanks,
Squeeky in Sarasota
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